I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
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