Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
