he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
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