I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I stole a fireplace last night.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
