I wish I could teleport
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
