You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
