You really coming over, don't trick.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
My butt remains clenched, sir.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
