I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
