everyone is single if you try hard enough
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
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