Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
