I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
