God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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