My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
zippers are such a cool invention
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
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