But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
