I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
