your room smells of hookers.
And success
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize
