five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
