I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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