I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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