omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize