Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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