I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
