How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
