I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
