My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
it glows. i had to have it.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize