Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
