508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
