i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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