I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
