I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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