OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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