he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
