he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
