Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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