do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
