no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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