i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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