Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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