i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize