On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
