C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Do you have feelings for this penis?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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