What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize