Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
