Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
