so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
