i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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