That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
