I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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