i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Randomize
