belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Come share oat with me in your robe
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Randomize
