We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
You did what with his pubic hair?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
