Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
