I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
My liver just had a heart attack.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
