I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
