I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
