i jhust puked up my retainher.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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