I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
That was an excessively violent trivia night
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
