You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
