What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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