im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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